SMILE, Because Jesus is on Your Side

Before I became Christian, I thought being positive means "always try to find the good side in the bad things" but then I realized that it is just not possibly sometimes. There were so many things happened in 2012, many lost their friends, family and property in the Sandy, many got extremely disappointed over presidential election, many cried over the death of those sweet little angels at Sandy Hook Elementary school...It is hard for us to see any goodness in these things with our own eyes. And it sounds crazy but I am thinking, maybe, I say maybe, it is actually a good thing that we are reminded again and over again how messed up this world is and how helpless and heart-broken we could be because then we could stop looking around and look up.

Before I became Christian, I thought everything has to be "just right" and I got very frustrated worrying about the possibilities of being "not just right". 

Am I going to get into that class if I am on the waiting list now? What if I cannot get in? What if he thinks what I just said was stupid? What if this is not the right major for me? What if I cannot graduate on time? What if I cannot find a job? What if I can never find the right guy to marry? I was surrounded by all these "What if...?"everyday, not noticing that I was not the one who is in control of these things at all.

 Let me share something with you guys...I was once a music education major before I switched my major. I switched not because I wanted to but because my professor told me that I was "not good enough to be a music teacher". I felt extremely upset and disappointed because for the whole time, I thought that was what I should do. I planned out every little details of what I'm going to do after graduating------here is the problem---I thought it is totally God's plan for me to be a music teacher but deep inside, I thought everything is in MY control and I could just get wherever I want to go if I do what I've planned out. It is all about "I" and "MY". So God flipped my plan and made me realizing that I was not the one who is in control at all. I started to trusting him rather than trusting myself, I prayed that God will comfort my heart and keep me encouraged after I was told "You are not good enough to..."

And guess what, God sent me a new professor to me last semester, who thinks I am actually a wonderful musician and I shouldn't be discouraged by some people's words. He told me that "It is not that you cannot play the violin, it is that you THINK you cannot play. It is ALL in your head, girl! Stop worrying and let it go, you could be a wonderful musician!" And with all his encouragement and help, at the end of last semester, I passed my audition for music education program and was told by the rest of the music faculties that "it was unbelievable how much you have improved". Although I ended up deciding not to switch back to music education major due to some personal reasons, it was such a comfort and encouragement to know I could actually do it. 

My new encouraging professor has been such a blessing and definitely an answer of my prayers. The whole experience has made me noticing that I am NOT the one who is in control and there is NO reason to worry about things because GOD has promised that HE has A PLAN for me and HE will hold my hand to walk through everything and anything, no matter it is lightness or darkness, rough places or level ground. I can finally be smiling and laughing while walking instead of worrying because I know the darkness will be lighted and rough places will become level ground with Jesus on my side.

Again, this might sound crazy for you but maybe, I say maybe, it is a good thing that your plan messed up, that you get frustrated that you feel like you are not in control, because then you could actually stop looking around and start looking up. 

2013, SMILE, because Jesus is on your side.