A-Three-Hour Pilgrimage

  I chose to stay on campus for spring bring so that I could "relax and get some work done" but the reality is that instead of being "relaxed and productive", I have been extremely lazy and surprisingly,tired.  Going bed late,waking up late,laying on my bed and watching movies all day long. I was sitting in front of the window, watching a TV show, and then I was so bored that I had to stop and ask myself "self, what are you doing really?". And then I noticed that even I cannot answer myself. It's like my whole body is empty but I dont know how to fill it up by myself. Then I start staring at my window or rather, staring at the outside world through my window. I told myself, it's time for a short trip. :)

  I left around 3pm today, it was really nice outside. I was walking under the trees, feeling the warmness of the sunshine that coming through from the space between the tree leaves.  It's crazy to think how we walk in this beautiful campus, this beautiful world everyday but never stop and see how beautiful they are. We ignore the natural beauty that God brought us because we are so busy at everything. We are so busy running from one class to another, rushing to work, getting ready to the date that we've been looking forward, and then when we get a little bit older, we will get busier, dealing with our job, trying to pay all our checks, rushing to the supermarket and then home,preparing food for our kids...Rachel said she thinks I am weird but most of the time, it's old people who actually appreciate the beauty of the nature. I say that's because after spending their whole life trying to get that thing they want, they finally figured what's the most important and whats not and then they finally could sit down and look at their surroundings. But are we really going to wait till we are even too old to walk? Are we really going to wait till that long to start appreciate the beautiful nature God's created?

I was getting quite close to where I wanted to go and there are two sides of the roads in front me. I accidentally picked the wrong side so that I ended up standing in this narrow way, watching those cars whizzing by me. Then I saw this dead animal laying right in front me, its body has been so destroyed that I couldnt even tell what animal it is, or it was. I freaked out, honestly, I have never felt that I am that close to death before. It's like this second I am standing here but next second, I might be hit by one of those cars. Thank God, I havent walked that far so I ran back and picked the right away. After I ran back from that road, I was thinking that we are all living in this "college Eden" where we dont have that much things to worry about except our grades,relationships,financial problems,etc,that we almost forget that there is a really world out there where people get sick, people die.  So when we get a chance to actually live, we should live it fully. While I am writing this, I am thinking that choosing from those two sides of the road are like choosing believing in Christ or not. They dont look that different at first, but the choose is, one is towards light and hope while the other one is towards darkness and death. When you notice that you've picked the wrong way, would you turn and run back to his arms or keep walking?  If you havent realize that you've picked the wrong way, dont you notice that you are standing in the darkness and the light you believe you are seeing will eventually disappear? And if you see your friends are picking the wrong way, would you grab their hands and taking them back?

I saw a beautiful lake after I walked a bit further and I could finally calm down from being that close to death.  See, even if you are going through the darkness of your life, you'll be able to see the light soon because wherever he is, wherever the light is.

On the way home, I saw an African American man who looks like a homeless man, waiting for bus right in front me. I had to admit that I was being such a fool because I was actually really scared when I saw this guy since he is the stereotype of "the guy we need to stay away from"----tall,big,wearing really dirty clothes, waiting for bus. ( I have to say that I've always found stereotype really stupid but when it came to myself, I noticed that I am a fool like everybody else after all) I would have chose to avoid walking passing him  but there is no other way. So when I walked passing him, I almost hold my breathe, and get ready to run. But I still have that curiosity in me that I looked at his face while I was about to pass him. Surprising, we made an eye-contace and he nod at me with a big smile on his face. It was a beautiful smile, full of friendliness and kindness. It's that kinda of smile that made my day. I smile back and kept smiling even after I've passed him. Smile is one of the most beautiful gifts that God's given us to let us show others our joy and give others joy at the same time. You could drive the most expensive cars, wear the prettiest clothes and the most perfect make-up, you may come from the richest family but the truth is, none of those could bring real joy to people who are around you. But you could wear the cheapest, the dirtiest cloth; you may not even have a car; you may havent gotten to shower for days because you dont have the money to pay for the water, like the guy I saw today, but you could be the most beautiful person in the world with the love of our Lord. And when you smile, although the smile itself even doesnt worth a penny, you could delight others' life because it is God's given gift. None of us are naturally beautiful, we are beautiful because of HIS love.  
            I got home safely after hours. I call it a pilgrimage because God's shown me more than I could ever imagine in this three hours. Friends, spend sometime to be with God alone. See what he has to show you and listen to what he has to say to you. Remember, God is not only in heaven, he is EVERYWHERE.

The First Blog EVER!!

  It's been so long since the last time I tried to write something for myself and for those that I love,not for class. It's been long enough that I almost forgot how much I've loved to write. People say that it's really hard to give up on a habit. I say it's true and untrue. If I try, I can actually still remember how much I've loved to write at high school. My mom used to put the computer in the living room just in case I got distracted so that I always study till midnight and then sneaked out of my room to turn the computer on. In order not to let my parents notice me, I had to keep the light off. And then I'll continue the story I had been writing back then. I loved the feeling of writing novels, it's like I am the outsider and the insider at the same time. I could be the outsider, build up relationship between that girl and that boy and watch them fall in love, the love that's as sweet as honey, and then make them break up so that the story ends up becoming a love sorrow, or "bitter sweet" as some people would call it. I could also be an insider, I imagine I am the character that I am writing, I experience all the sweet and sorrow as I am them. In the darkest, my soul was so free that I could see it come out of my body and dance around me. Okay that sounds quite freaky, I agree. Anyways, all I am trying to say is that writing has always been one of my habits. And then I stopped writing. I didnt stop it in a suddenly, otherwise I'd have already noticed it. I just started to write less and less so that finally there was one day, I stopped writing. So my habit of writing became a habit of not to write at all.  Until...Until the other day, I was writing for my favorite class, Understanding of Religion by Dr.Middleton, the topic was "A Grave That You'd Like To Visit". I was so interested in the topic that I could not stop writing it. And then this old feeling, this special joy coming out, I suddenly remembered how much I've loved writing. It's like a kid suddenly found his old lost toy; it's like an old lady suddenly found the engaged ring that she's lost for a long time---the joy of getting back the things you've lost,oh that joy!!

  You would think that I'd start writing right away after that but I didnt. Because "I dont have time to"---that same boring , common excuse. 

  What really made me want to start this blog to write again is, well, I should have said "who" instead of "what"---anyways, who really made me want to start writing again? God did. Since the day I started seeking God, I have had so many amazing or rather magical stories happened to me. I've tried to tell share stories to my friends, believers and non-believers but I can never describe the story as well as I wish it could be. Also, the dangerous of being a story-teller rather than a story-writer is that one day when you want to look back and read those stories you've told people, you dont even have anything to read because you dont have any of them written down. I got really scared and I asked myself, what if I get really really old one day that I couldnt remember anything or what if I suddenly lost all my memories? Would I still be able to remember those love marks that God's given me?  Like tonight, I wrote some emails to couple members from the International Christian fellowship at my hometown, asked them for their permission to attend their worship this summer. I was really worried if they'd give me the permission since our government has pretty strict policies with religions. What really surprises me is that one of them responded me, told me that I am welcomed to join them and also, told me that both of his wife and him are from Fort Worth ,where Im living in currently. It's such a blessing for me because I didnt have any Christian friends back home and I found it extremely hard to keep my faith strong without being with my Christian sisters and brothers and attending church. And I got to know someone who is not only a Christian but also a Texan!!When I read that, I almost screamed out loud and I actually shout out loud---"Oh My Gosh God is real!!! He is real!!!"(thank God my roommates are out for spring break).  So I think it would be great to write this down so that I could share it with others, believers and non-believers and maybe, maybe someone would actually read it and think thats exactly what she or he needs. It's also a great reminder for myself, like how those Israelites immediately started doubting God after God freed them from being slaves, I always keep forgetting those great works God's done in my life and those blessing he's been giving me and start doubting him once awhile. So having those writing down could really keep reminding what God's done in my life and how grateful I should be.